When loving others means living in pain, then you love too much and the relationship has become a source of suffering. If you can relate to this, it’s important to look at various aspects. Are you the only one loving in this relationship? Is the other person feeling suffocated by your love? Is love what you really feel or is it fear of being alone, not being loved or wanting to be loved. In any case it’s important to know, if you are not happy – probably the other person isn’t either. It’s important to find balance in the relationship and establish boundaries for it to be healthy and allow feelings to flow.
Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional and mental limits we need to establish in order to create healthy relationships. The definition of a boundary is how far I allow others or myself to go. These boundaries are important because they protect us from being manipulated, used, or violated by others. They allow us to separate who we are, what we think and feel, from the thoughts and feelings of those around us, especially those who are close to us. The presence of limits helps us express ourselves as the unique individuals we are, speak our truth and be ourselves – while we acknowledge and respect the individuality of others.
Without boundaries it is very difficult to enjoy healthy relationships. We must recognize that each of us is a unique individual with distinct emotions, needs and preferences as well as a unique belief system that guides the way we act. This is equally true for our spouses, children, friends and other relationships we have in our lives. Respecting that uniqueness means respecting boundaries which will also helps preserve your integrity, taking responsibility for who you are, and taking control of your life.
When we “love too much” and we are in a place of suffering, we need to look at ourselves instead of looking around for someone to blame for our emotional pain. It means taking responsibility and owning our part. If you are in a romantic relationship, a friendship or other types of relationships it means you are in a relationship of equal partners. You are 100% responsible for your 50%. Loving too much sometimes means that we don’t love ourselves enough and that is reflected in the type of relationships we establish. Make sure you stay attuned with your boundaries and take care of yourself. Therapy can help you get the love you want from others and the love you need from yourself.