I think we often feel like we’re falling short somewhere in life, like we could be doing more. There is that perpetual sense of guilt that most of us walk around with, that we don’t even realize. “Am I doing enough for my kids? Should I be doing more at work? Am I really giving my relationship 100%? Am I there for others the way I need to be? What things do I need to fix in my house, car, life, etc?” What a horrible way to live, right?
Why do we constantly feel like we’re not enough? Society puts many unrealistic pressures on us to have it all and be everything we can be, all at once. Down time is often snuck into the day, rather than a good part of our day. No wonder we suffer from so many stress related diseases in this country.
If we treated ourselves like we were deserving of good things, including a guilt free, “self-indulgent” take-care-of-me time on a regular basis, I believe we would be much more at peace and would like ourselves so much more. We would command respect, not allow others to mistreat us, and above all else – not mistreat ourselves. So the question is, where do we start?
Why don’t you start treating yourself the way you want to be treated? Give yourself at least 5 compliments every day, whether you believe them or not. For example, “You are so beautiful. You are an amazing person. You are so successful. I love who you are. I’m proud of you”. Next, treat yourself to experiences you would want someone else to create for you. For example, give yourself a spa day, buy yourself that necklace you’ve had your eye on, or take yourself on a date to the beach, instead of waiting to get that from someone else. Show yourself you care about you. When you start living as if you’re enough, you trick your brain into believing it.
Enjoy the journey!
Margie Mader, LMFT, CHt