Dear Debbie,

There is a lot of turmoil in my life and I can’t stop thinking about it.  How can I relax my mind so that I can think clearly and make good decisions?

TL

Dear TL,

When life is chaotic, it is difficult to relax your mind. You may be convinced that you can gain control and resolve the situation by constantly thinking about it. This belief often results in a merry go round of frenzied thoughts and wasted energy. Your mind overanalyzes in order to keep you detached from the present moment, which then diverts your attention from any strong emotions related to your situation.

It is important that you confront your feelings, since that will be the key to relaxing your mind and seeing your situation clearly. While going through your internal process, set aside some quiet time to meditate, go to the beach, exercise, really anything that works for you that would help change the energy.

Once you have shifted your energy, you can revisit your situation and examine the root of your turmoil. Honestly explore your situation and then define the steps that can be taken.

Differentiate between what you can and cannot change about your situation. Then focus your efforts on what you can realistically work on and release what is not in your realm of control. Regardless of how you got in this situation, it is important that you accept and embrace your reality.

This acceptance will bring you inner peace, help you connect to your intuition and enable you to make good decisions. It may be difficult at first to accept your situation, but once you do, no matter your circumstance, your life will improve.

Debbie Gottlieb, MSW

Please be advised that the advice written in this column is not a substitution for psychotherapy.