Dear Debbie

I feel very insecure and would like to know how to gain more self-confidence, do you have any suggestions?

Insecure in Pompano

Dear Insecure,

   When you feel insecure, subconsciously there are strong feelings that exist that are communicating to you a sense of unworthiness. Due to these strong feelings, it is difficult to feel self-confident.

   The first place to begin is to gain a sense of your body and how it feels to be in your own skin. Settling into your body will help you gain a sense of yourself. Start to notice your breath, your feet on the ground, your body as you walk, how you talk, the tone and volume of your voice.

   There is no judgment in this process, just valuable information about yourself. Taking the time to get in touch with yourself will naturally  give you more self-confidence because you are rediscovering who you really are.  Self-confidence comes from knowing yourself well and trusting that what you have to say and share with others has value.

   It is also really important that you do not compare yourself to others or look for others to give you validation. You are a unique individual who is here to share your gifts with the world. At times, people will not be able to accept you for who you are but that has nothing to do with you and should not affect your self-confidence.

  There is something deep inside all of us that knows what feels right and knows when we are in our truth. Try and tap into that part of yourself and remember the more you operate from that place, the more self-confident you will be in your life.

Debbie

Please be advised that the advice written in this column is not a substitution for psychotherapy.

Dear Debbie,

I have been told that meditation would be good for me but have a hard time understanding what it is and how it can help me in my day to day life. Can you please explain it to me?

Meditate in Ft. Lauderdale

Dear Meditate,

   Meditation is a tool that gives you the opportunity to look inside.  There are many different types of meditations but ultimately the goal for most of them is the same, to quiet the mind.

   With that being said it is very important to understand the process, since it is the journey of meditation that is most important, the goal will follow naturally.

   To start, set aside time in a quiet place without interruption.

   While meditating, there is nothing to do but be a witness to your experience, watching who you are and what comes up for you during the meditation.

   It may happen, for example that you are anxious during meditation, that’s ok, be anxious fully, without judgment.

   Witness your anxiety by noticing what happens to your breath, your body, your thoughts, the different sensations, and so on.

   The practice of doing this brings a sense of understanding and peace about yourself that you carry with you in your day to day life.

   If you are interacting with others or doing something mundane you can take that sense of inner knowing, of being the witness and apply it. This will help you live more authentically and allow you to truly enjoy whatever life presents you. Starting a practice of meditation can be done by setting aside as little as five minutes.

   It is really about your total commitment to just “be” for those few minutes and see what that is for you. Slowly you will access deeper parts of yourself, small moments of silence, truly being present and you will see a transformation happening in your day to day life.

   If meditation was something that was suggested to you I encourage you to take the time to follow your breath, and witness who you really are, it will change your life.

Debbie

Please be advised that the advice written in this column is not a substitution for psychotherapy.